I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
