Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Randomize
