How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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