Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
