I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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