TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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