Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
