Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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