We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
