I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
