Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please, let me fuck your mom
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
