we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize