u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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