Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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