NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
