DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
