i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
