You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
