I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Panties = found
Randomize
