It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
