THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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