After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
