I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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