well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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