Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
