I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
