Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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