Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
