That's intense
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
