It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She's the barista slut.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
