I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
