I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
