its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I need water and some morals
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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