He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there was a trapeze. enough said
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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