Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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