i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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