never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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