people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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