went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
