I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
