he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
