end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
