Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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