Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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