she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
