All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
