No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
