Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
