I haven't been this sober since birth.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize