College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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