Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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