Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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