were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
