I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
