You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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