The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
