Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
