He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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