My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
