Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize