i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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