Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just cropdusted the office
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
