i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
