And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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