a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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