She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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