pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
