i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
