I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
where are you?
Hypothermia
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
