i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
