We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
