All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
