She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
