I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just want nice things and good sex
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
its liver damage thursday
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
