I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
