hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
